Relationship – End of Month Summary

So I was looking through my old posts the other day and was reading my end of month summary for boost energy in which I included an image of my resolutions chart with my red and black Xs on it.  I laughed when I saw it because it looks like I nailed my resolutions that month, hardly any red Xs.  Granted, I was giving myself credit for even attempting certain goals.  I would’ve given myself credit for working out if all I did was go to the gym and stare at the wall.  My resolutions chart is currently riddled with red Xs.  I have pretty much given up on waking up early and working out with the exception of yoga so those two rows of the cart are almost completely red.  I will say that the black Xs that go on my chart feel more valid, like I genuinely earned them.

 

This month was ok.  It brought up a lot of weird emotions.  I found myself easily irritated and overly emotional.  I consider myself to be someone that does a fair bit of self reflection, having this need to constantly find ways to improve on everything.  This month’s resolutions made me hyper aware of myself and all my neurotic crap. 

I came to realize that Flash has flaws, but most of the time things become issues because I make them issues.  I am a big part of the problem.  That’s ok because I can change myself.  I can make a conscious effort to be aware of the part I’m playing in creating negative situations, to let things go, to take time for myself when I lose my perspective or need to breathe.  I also realized that Flash is genuinely happier when I’m happier.  I used to think that Flash made stupid jokes all the time because he liked the sound of his voice, or as a force of habit from hanging around with guys all the time, now I see that he is doing it for me, in the hopes that I’ll laugh.  Just this past weekend he made a particularly clever joke and when I laughed his face lit up.

I’ve cut back on nagging, I’ll mention something once or twice and then I’ll drop it.  Proofs of love was fun, but I don’t think buying gifts all the time is necessary.  I do feel a shift in my thinking.  I’d say the biggest lesson I learned this month is just be more appreciative, focus on the good things and let little things go.