Sand Man

I’m starting to get into a groove with working out.  The past couple weeks have been pretty successful as far as going to the gym and going to yoga class.  The days where I had planned to do morning workouts at home have been a big fat fail.  If anything I’ve been coming very close to being late for work, so clearly a far cry from getting up early.

I love the feeling of going home after the gym, getting off the train and walking that last block to my house knowing that my workout is done and I can do whatever I feel like from now until I go to bed.  I would imagine that getting up and working out before work must feel 100 times better than that.  A guy friend of mine that goes to the gym and is a morning person describes morning workouts as something nobody can take away from you, it’s done.

Ah but I still can’t seem to do it.  I’ve tried going to bed early, but my roommates are still up and I can hear the TV clear as day throughout our small apartment.  So I’ve tried going to bed and reading a book, but I really like the books I’m currently reading so instead of putting me to sleep I keep trying to squeeze in another chapter which results in me staying up later than I planned.  Flash is a snorer.  It’s a nightmare.  I have on occasion slept on the couch to get away from it.  It’s not so much loud as it is annoying.  Any wheezing whistling sound you can think of, he does it.  This also adds to the amount of time it takes me to fall asleep.  Usually I just end up getting to the point where I’m so exhausted I can fall asleep despite it.  I guess getting enough sleep is the first step.

I have begun to enjoy going to the gym.  Going straight there after work has increased my success rate.  Flash has been going to the hole-in-the-wall gym in our building to run and he has been going later and later.  Usually he goes around 8 or 9 pm because the gym is empty then.  I know that wouldn’t work for me.  I would hate to be at home thinking over and over about how I still need to go to the gym.  All I used to do for the first hour after work was watch Oprah, or whatever else is on TV now that Oprah is done, so I don’t feel like I’m losing that much of my evening.  On days where I go to a 5:45 pm or later yoga class I do feel like it eats into my evening.  Maybe I’ll start looking into doing yoga on the weekends instead.

My Friend the Gym

This past week I did pretty good with workouts.  Monday was a holiday so I did my core workout during the day.  Tuesday and Wednesday I went to the gym after work and Thursday I went to yoga.  Friday I failed to get up and do my morning workout and I didn't have the living room to myself on Saturday either.  I seem to be the most successful with going to the gym after work.  So as much as I want to use my dvds, if I can't motivate myself to get up in the mornings and use them then the chances of me consistently doing them are slim to none.  I just don't have enough control over who's home and when to guarantee myself the living room.

So I'm going to keep on with the gym and put more emphasis on trying to plan out workouts.  I like my gym.  So far I mostly use the machines.  I like weights a lot more than I like cardio.  The thing I haven't done much of at the gym is non machine workouts.  There is a small area where you can lie on a mat and do whatever, but it's super small.  There's another area in the back of the gym that is bigger where you can also do these things, but sometimes there's a bootcamp class in there.  The gym is quite small so space can be an issue at times.

Time to get out my fitness stuff and plan some workouts.

A Workout Schedule

I meant to post on September 1, as it was the one year anniversary of my happiness project, but I didn't feel much like celebrating.  This long weekend has been lazy.  I've spent most of it sitting in bed reading.

I sat down and went through some of my fitness stuff.  The P90X dvds I have outline workouts to do each week.  

1. Core Synergistics - (mornings at home)

2. Cardio (gym)

3. Shoulders & Arms, Ab Ripper (gym)

4. Yoga (class)

5. Legs & Back, Ab Ripper (mornings at home)

6. Kenpo (at home)

7. Rest

If I start with Core Synergistics on Monday, then I only need to get up two mornings a week.  The Kenpo dvd is also done at home but day 6 is Saturday so it doesn't necessarily have to be done at 6am.  Yoga falls on Thursdays and I will use my pre-paid classes that need to be done before they expire.

Today, being Monday, I attempted to do my Core Synergistics.  I finally had to kick Flash out of the house when I saw an opportunity to have an hour alone to do it.  I got about a third of the way through and remembered how hard the dvds are.  I'd always been athletic, good at sports, stronger than I looked.  I sat there watching the rest of the dvd playing out realizing how out of shape I am.  This draggy tired feeling follows me everywhere.  I want to work out to have more energy, but it takes energy to work out.  It's a constant battle to motivate myself.  

Shifting Gears

The end of the month has arrived.  Normally, this would be my lackluster post about how I didn’t do the things I wanted to accomplish this month.  My goals are no longer monthly, so this is only month one of three (or four).

What did I do?  I got a gym membership.  I have gone to my gym several times.  I went to two yoga classes.  I watched my body for life dvds.  I went for a hike in the mountains.

I’ve been thinking a lot about mornings.  The past couple days I set my alarm earlier and both times I thought to myself you can get up or not, and both times I stayed in bed.  So, that’s crap.  I’d really like to incorporate some of my workout dvds into the mix, but the only time the living room is empty is in the morning.  So I Googled up how to become a morning person and found an article on AskMen.  The four points it gives are:

1.       Prepare yourself the night before

-          I have not been doing a solid evening prep.  Lunch for the next day, picking a work outfit, choosing what workout I’ll do, etc.  Making lunch is the last thing I want to do after cleaning up the kitchen from supper.

-          Getting all these things ready the night before is a type of mental preparation for the morning.  I simply need to do it.

2.       Give yourself something to look forward to

-          I had one summer job where I was on the bus every day at 7:05 am because I could switch to a direct bus a few stops later, but if the first bust I caught was a later one I would miss the direct bus.  Option one would get me to work about 15 minutes early and I would buy breakfast at the cafeteria (you used your employee card to pay and  the charges were deducted off your paycheck) eggs over easy, cubed potatoes and bacon.  I love breakfast and knowing that I wouldn’t have time for it made me get to the bus stop on time for the earlier bus.

-          I have also debated taking up drinking coffee since it seems to be a big morning motivator for people. 

3.       Schedule your sleep time

-          I think I get enough sleep, but I don’t think I sleep well.  I often take a long time to fall asleep.  I need a strict bedtime.  I’m never going to drag my ass out of bed if I’m exhausted.

4.       Get outside

-          Uh, I don’t know about this one.  He says morning air is special, and I believe him, but he’s probably sitting at a desk in LA typing this and well, it gets painfully cold here.  I just don’t think a blast of icy dead of winter air is going to be more tempting than curled up in my bed.  At best I think I could aim for getting out of the house by an early morning trip to the gym (if Flash drives me) or getting up and going out for breakfast.

I need to up the intensity.  I’ve more or less given myself permission to only focus on getting in shape and boosting my energy but I really don’t spend a significant portion of my day working on or reinforcing my goals.  So I'm going to see if I can handle my life revolving around my new goals.

Nothing is Happening

I’m currently working my way through the Game of Thrones series.  I can’t put the books down.  I was thinking about the time it takes to read a good book.  If you really like the book you find time in all sorts of places.  On your lunch break, staying up a late before bed to squeeze in one more chapter, getting a few pages in on the train or reading while in the passenger's seat of the car. 

Time keeps moving by but it feels like nothing is ever happening.  I keep working these useless jobs.  In fact, all my jobs have been useless.  I’ve had several office jobs, administrative mostly, where I sit at a desk and never have enough to do.  It’s frustrating and weird.  Especially since other people around me seem fairly busy. 

The feeling follows me home, this lazy unproductive feeling.

Then I think about school and how my entire life was school, and how stressful it was to dedicate all of your energy to working on and thinking about and stressing about it and I feel a tightness in my chest, an anxiety.  My last year of school was incredibly miserable and I don’t want to feel like that again.

It was miserable because it wasn’t right for me.  I’ve rebelled against it into this weird limbo that I’ve been in for what feels like an eternity.  I live a very low stress existence, except for the constant nagging feeling that I’m not moving toward the things I want.  So I get up to move and stand still because I don’t know what I want.  So I stay in the same place, time moves, and nothing happens.

I remember watching the Pursuit of Happiness in the theater and thinking to myself that his level of dedication to doing everything he had on his plate was unbelievable; to dig that deep day in and day out without a break.  It seemed superhuman. 

Then I think that it must take that kind of dedication, that kind of commitment and motivation to make things happen.  Like stealing away every spare fifteen minutes to read a great book you must always be working tirelessly toward your goals.  This makes me even more anxious.  Like some sort of mad race is happening and I can’t seem to get my shoes on and everyone is getting farther and farther down the track, and then people start to lap you and you think about how long ago they started running and how far behind you are and that you’ll have to run so hard and fast to catch up.

Fall Is In The Air

There's a chill in the air.  I feel it in the morings, and the days are growing shorter.  This summer was meh.  The weather was nothing special, lackluster even.  We really only had a couple nice weeks, lots of rain and lots of overcast days.

I love walking into the convenience store and seeing the September issue of all your favorite magazines lining the shelves.  InStyle, Harpers Bazaar, Vogue and the latest Oxygen magazine of course cause fitness not fashion is my project's focus. 

One of the downsides to working in an office all day every day is that they are always cold.  In winter they are never warm enough and in summer the airconditioning makes them just as cold.  I rarely wore shirts and dresses this summer because once it finally stopped raining all the time and got nice out, it was still freezing in the office.

So I can't help but be excited about fall because it means warm clothes.  I think I'm getting better at buying clothes for myself, I know certain styles don't do much for me, I've gone through enough seasons to know what wardrobe staples I need.  I think the old tank top with a cardigan over it is becoming my go to outfit far too often. 



J Crew Fall 2011 - Tweed Jacket & Cable Knit Sweater





H&M                                                                                                                       Zara



Keep Fit and Have Fun

I am a weakling.  In my attempts at getting in shape I haven’t been pushing myself very hard;  a little cardio, a little leg work, a hike, walking the dog, a couple trips to yoga.  All pretty low intensity.  So why I am so sore is beyond me.  I went to a yoga class on Friday, a faster paced one to upbeat music.  The class wasn’t advanced, but my hamstrings have been sore for three days now.

I interpret this to mean that I am so weak and out of shape even the most low intensity workouts are challenging my muscles.  How sad.  I have a long way to go.

The other day I was feeling like I need to start making changes and I was going over and over in my head what I might be able to do and coming to dead ends and getting frustrated when I came to the realization that this is not the time for that.  Right now I am giving myself permission to focus only on health and fitness.  I will worry about future jobs, career changes, school, keeping up with the Joneses and the like once I have completed this phase.