KIRBY vs. MEL

Soooo after the quarter point on our happiness journey I have gone back and read every entry that Kirby and I have made since day 1. I am starting to really notice how incredibly different we are! Me and Kirby's Happiness Projects couldn't be any different really and I think it's such a clear indication of the differences we have, and how together, those differences make our Happiness Blog perfect. We come from two totally different perspectives, with totally different goals, totally different ways of tracking, even the way we blog is opposite.

Although our Happiness Project is a perfect example of how opposites attract (and make awesome roommates) I would like to take a minute to list a few things Kirby and I have in common so that y'all know why we have mad love:

1. Our shared love for "Glee" and knowing that the show wouldn't be the same without Becky the Cheerio
2. Our love for Mexican food (Our first roommate dinner was at Julio's Barrio)
3. Our hate for stuck up biatches (we both know who this is, in particular)
4. Our appreciation for a clean kitchen
5. The things we know are just that way, but were never discussed, like why do I have the left side of the fridge, and she has the right? If individual items linger over to the other side, one of us returns them to their rightful space. The top shelf is for shared items like margarine, salsa and ketchup.
6. Our ability to know exactly when the other doesn't want to be spoken to, for at least an hour
7. Our love for comments about the interesting folk that live in our building
8. Our love for movies....we .....love.....movies.

In compliance with showing proofs of love, here are a few things that I adore about Kirby:

1. How she always keeps a can of Chef Boyardi mini Ravioli in her cupboard for the Sundays that i'm too hungover to move or make myself anything
2. How she hates leftovers, and therefore I usually have an already made meal in the fridge once a week
3. Her love for cheese....we always have cheese (right now? fresh parm and her fav, cheese whiz)
   
4. Her love for breakfast foods
5. When I catch her dancing
6. The way she laughs out loud when something is REALLY funny
7. Her cleaning ethic. This girl puts Danny Tanner to shame (she steam cleans....fact)
8. The fact that she taught me to drive a standard in 2 hours, in the snow
9. Her patience...
10. Her perseverance. This chick is strong :)
    
    
    I'm happy to be on this journey.

End of 'Work' Month....still a work in Progress

Working on Work has been good. I've been really in tune with bad habits and the process of being successful and working towards my goal. The oh so lovely Kelly Cutrone once said "Getting good at something requires consistency and repetition. Show up, do the work, do it hard, win the prize." When I broke things down, it was quite simple. I know how to do my job well, I just have to show up every day with a positive attitude and give it all i've got.
My boss, Special K, once told me that sales isn't very difficult. When you walk into that office, it's your curtain call, but the face on and before you know it those 8 hours have passed and you've done a good job, something you can be proud of. When you walk out of that door, you take off everything and leave it on stage. Don't bring your work home with you. THIS is something i've mastered. Between the gym and my oh-so packed social calendar, I hardly worry about work when i'm not there, I hardly ever bring it home with me, and I very rarely go to the office on the weekend.

There is one aspect of the WORK goals that I failed at: getting to know my co-workers. I really wanted to but...everyone is busy. I have done a good job at making an effort to talk to more people, just small comments here and there, and I feel good about that! I've also solidified the people I think I relate best with, and tried to be more open minded to those that dance to a different tune! I appreciate that all the people in my office are different and we are all very good at what we do. I'm looking forward to getting to know everyone better!

At the end of the day, I love my job and am looking forward to continually working to get better. Not every day can be the best day, but there's a piece of everyday that I can be my best.

On on to the next on on to the next (thanks Jay Z)

Mmmmmmelissa the Mmmmmarketing Mmmmmmmaster

Relationship – End of Month Summary

So I was looking through my old posts the other day and was reading my end of month summary for boost energy in which I included an image of my resolutions chart with my red and black Xs on it.  I laughed when I saw it because it looks like I nailed my resolutions that month, hardly any red Xs.  Granted, I was giving myself credit for even attempting certain goals.  I would’ve given myself credit for working out if all I did was go to the gym and stare at the wall.  My resolutions chart is currently riddled with red Xs.  I have pretty much given up on waking up early and working out with the exception of yoga so those two rows of the cart are almost completely red.  I will say that the black Xs that go on my chart feel more valid, like I genuinely earned them.

 

This month was ok.  It brought up a lot of weird emotions.  I found myself easily irritated and overly emotional.  I consider myself to be someone that does a fair bit of self reflection, having this need to constantly find ways to improve on everything.  This month’s resolutions made me hyper aware of myself and all my neurotic crap. 

I came to realize that Flash has flaws, but most of the time things become issues because I make them issues.  I am a big part of the problem.  That’s ok because I can change myself.  I can make a conscious effort to be aware of the part I’m playing in creating negative situations, to let things go, to take time for myself when I lose my perspective or need to breathe.  I also realized that Flash is genuinely happier when I’m happier.  I used to think that Flash made stupid jokes all the time because he liked the sound of his voice, or as a force of habit from hanging around with guys all the time, now I see that he is doing it for me, in the hopes that I’ll laugh.  Just this past weekend he made a particularly clever joke and when I laughed his face lit up.

I’ve cut back on nagging, I’ll mention something once or twice and then I’ll drop it.  Proofs of love was fun, but I don’t think buying gifts all the time is necessary.  I do feel a shift in my thinking.  I’d say the biggest lesson I learned this month is just be more appreciative, focus on the good things and let little things go. 

What Epic Life Changing Shit Have You Achieved?

I’m annoyed with my happiness project today because it feels like nothing is happening.  You know why?   Because I’m looking to make changes, EPIC changes.  I want to look back on the happiness project and remember it as one of those times in your life that stands out as different from the rest.  During these years I was in University and during that year I lived in that city and during that year I did a happiness project and changed my freakin’ life.

It has almost been 3 months since I started this project, that’s 90 days people.  You know what P90X is?  It’s a 90 day workout program where you commit to working out six out of every seven days for 90 days.  And do you know what happens to those people that follow through?  They are super jacked and amazing.  They commit to one goal and it changes their life.  Booyah.

So WTF Kirby I say to myself.  What epic life changing shit have you achieved?  Um, I’m not always thinking strangers are stupid and I eat less fast food.  Wow… how lame is that?  I used to read a couple fitness blogs but I stopped because I thought they were annoying.  It was always the same crap: I did the my workout today, and then three days later they’d be all like I haven’t worked out in three days, life’s been crazy, and then they proceed to list off 10 excuses for not working out.  I’m like, bitch that’s annoying, step your game up.  Maybe you should call it this is why I’m fat instead of your fitness blog.

So what’s my excuse?  I don’t know!  I’ve structured my happiness project to include lots of smaller resolutions and maybe this is great if you are really diligent in your efforts to be perfect with these little goals every day but I am not.  Should I just do one or two big goals?  One of the things Gretchen discovered during her project was that you manage what you measure.  I like the idea of having lots of goals and keeping track of them, and I’m finding that tracking my progress does keep me from letting things slide for more than a day or two, but there’s something missing, something to keep me motivated enough to strive for a higher standard of completion every day.

I have these bursts of motivation or frustration in which I feel inspired to rework the project, make changes, do better.  They I’ll get into a really lazy low mood and everything suffers for several a couple days.  My moods are my downfall.  The irony is that Boosting Energy and Attitude month were done first in the hopes that they would help alleviate the severity or frequency of these low moods.  So half assing my boost energy goals and discarding most of my attitude resolutions hasn’t helped matters.

Maybe the way Gretchen did her project doesn’t work for me.  I remember reading the Happiness Project and thinking to myself that this woman was a time management machine, how did she fit it all in?  I thought, if Gretchen can be a writer with a husband, two small children and a ton of social commitments and still find time to improve in all these areas then I can totally do this.  Turns out Gretchen Rubin is a freak of nature.  I work regular hours at a job that is relatively stress free, I have a dog but no children, no husband and very few social commitments.  In other words, I have more than enough time in my day to do this project.  I’m going to start re-working my resolutions.  I think it’s all about figuring out what works for me and what doesn’t.

Working on Your Work is Hard Work

So...I mean this. Working on doing better at work is hard work. I...AM...EXHAUSTED. My job is quite demanding, and trying to do what I already think I do pretty well, even better, is difficult. I guess when I went in to this I wanted a couple things to improve:
-my self motivation
-daily productivity
-accountability
-friendliness

For the most part, i've been doing well. I really wanted to focus on staying positive, when it comes down to it, there's no "i" in OfficeTeam...well, there is...in "office" but the word TEAM is bigger and it really takes all 3 legs of our tri-pod to do what we do. We have a great team and I want to be contributing to that everyday.
Today...was a rough day for me. I've been feeling under the weather and I've barely been sleeping this week and it's FREAKING COLD...like -40 everyday for the past 7 days....and I got super cranky today, and I let it get me. Towards my team I tried to keep my light hearted demeanor and humorous attitude, but to some of my support staff and other co-workers I was kind of rude. Not through words, but through just straight up ignoring. If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all right?!....right? haha. I just wanted to be left alone. It's year end and the pressure is really on to put up big numbers, and everyone is feeling it. Even more reason for me to keep a calm head, and try to let things slide. Tomorrow is Thursday (the new Friday, whoop whoop!) so i'm going to breathe, stretch, shake and let it go. Tomorrow is a new day, tomorrow is a great day, and I love my job ---and not like Emily Blunt circa Devil Wears Prada "i love my job, i love my job." ---I actually really do!!!!
I am blessed. In the spirit of American Thanksgiving, let me give thanks to all the things that I have, and all that is in my future.

Same 'ole Mel, but smiling more!

P.S. I am doing SO much better at drinking water and herbal teas! But I will never give up my morning grande pike with room. AND a new study says coffee helps with brain cancer. TAKE THAT, REWIND IT BACK.
P.P.S. I love my family....they are lovely people. The texts I wake up to from J-Bear are precious....just precious.

Me versus We

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about alone time and balance. 

I have always been someone that was comfortable being by myself.  I was in a conversation in which a friend of a friend was in a toxic relationship but was terrified to leave her live in boyfriend because she was scared to be by herself.  Not like, scared of burglars, like scared of sitting in silence in an empty room scared.  I remember thinking that was ridiculous.  I am by no means scared of being alone, but I am noticing that I am rarely by myself.

Let’s rephrase that - I am never alone.  Flash and I don’t live together, but we probably spend as much, if not more time with each other than couples that do.  Now, because we don’t actually live together, I feel like when we’re together we need to be doing something.  Meaning, I don’t feel like I can just up and go to a random yoga class if Flash is over because he doesn’t live there and I’d either have to ask him to go home or leave him there by himself.  Most of the time it’s fine, I plan out things I’m going to do in advance anyway.  It’s not that I want to go anywhere, it’s just that I’m aware that I am accountable for how I spend my time.

My workplace is small, I have 4 coworkers.  It’s a design office where everyone spends their entire day at the computer with their headphones on.  It took me a while to get used to the utter and complete silence that permeates the office every day.  The office is set up in such a way that we cannot see one another.  Three of the four coworker are in partially enclosed offices and one sits right beside me with a divider wall between us just high enough that I’d have to stand to see him.  Even though I feel isolated at work, I am aware that I am not alone, that someone is regularly looking over my shoulder.

I’m sort of in that place where I’m always in the presence of people.  My boyfriend, my roommate, my coworkers, my dog.  I’m craving some space.  I decided to do the happiness project because I read the book and though it was great, but also because of this nagging feeling that always follows me around, this general dissatisfaction with life.  I’m not happy with my progress in the project so far and I’m starting to think that I’m not staying in touch with why I’m doing this, what I want to get out of it.  I feel unable to think about what I want when I have to factor another person into my decisions.  What I eat for dinner or what I’m going to watch on TV or when I’m going to run errands, all these decision are affected by the fact that I’m not doing them by myself.

Maybe I need to take a book and go sit in a coffee shop by myself, or just schedule in some alone time.

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice

Whenever I picture the week of extreme nice in my head I see a 50’s Stepford wife dancing around her house, but instead of a partner she holds a big chocolate cake in her outstretched arms.

This week hasn’t felt very extreme.  I can think of lots of things that I could buy for Flash, but I feel like the point of this week isn’t gifts.  It’s extreme nice week not Hanukkah (and the fact that Christmas is coming up makes me even less inclined to spend much money on presents).

So far I have given Flash a Starbuck’s gift card, bought him breathe right strips, mailed him an I love you card, cleared out a drawer in my dresser for him, bought him diet coke at the grocery store and made him lunch for work.  I also got him a season of a show he likes and will probably give it to him tonight.  None of these things are very extreme.  Gretchen’s husband didn’t seem to notice when he was the recipient of her week of extreme nice but she ended up deciding that was a good thing because it meant her behavior didn’t seem all that out of the ordinary. 

It doesn’t bother me that Flash hasn’t noticed this week is special because I don’t feel like I’m really going all out.  I probably could have made a bigger production out of how I game him things to get a bigger reaction.  Done goofy things like put little bows on presents I bought or doing a little Ta-Daa! song and dance when I gave him something but I’m working on not expecting praise/appreciation so I’m almost trying to downplay my efforts.  Flash has excellent manners and always make sure to mention things and thank me for them.  He called me as soon as he got his card in the mail to let me know it made his day.

So it’s been good.  I haven’t got the same sense of accomplishment I got from my weekly goal of trying a new recipe every night, but I still feel successful in my efforts.  I think it’s nice to give little non-practical gifts once in a while for no reason.