Monday, November 29, 2010

What Epic Life Changing Shit Have You Achieved?

I’m annoyed with my happiness project today because it feels like nothing is happening.  You know why?   Because I’m looking to make changes, EPIC changes.  I want to look back on the happiness project and remember it as one of those times in your life that stands out as different from the rest.  During these years I was in University and during that year I lived in that city and during that year I did a happiness project and changed my freakin’ life.

It has almost been 3 months since I started this project, that’s 90 days people.  You know what P90X is?  It’s a 90 day workout program where you commit to working out six out of every seven days for 90 days.  And do you know what happens to those people that follow through?  They are super jacked and amazing.  They commit to one goal and it changes their life.  Booyah.

So WTF Kirby I say to myself.  What epic life changing shit have you achieved?  Um, I’m not always thinking strangers are stupid and I eat less fast food.  Wow… how lame is that?  I used to read a couple fitness blogs but I stopped because I thought they were annoying.  It was always the same crap: I did the my workout today, and then three days later they’d be all like I haven’t worked out in three days, life’s been crazy, and then they proceed to list off 10 excuses for not working out.  I’m like, bitch that’s annoying, step your game up.  Maybe you should call it this is why I’m fat instead of your fitness blog.

So what’s my excuse?  I don’t know!  I’ve structured my happiness project to include lots of smaller resolutions and maybe this is great if you are really diligent in your efforts to be perfect with these little goals every day but I am not.  Should I just do one or two big goals?  One of the things Gretchen discovered during her project was that you manage what you measure.  I like the idea of having lots of goals and keeping track of them, and I’m finding that tracking my progress does keep me from letting things slide for more than a day or two, but there’s something missing, something to keep me motivated enough to strive for a higher standard of completion every day.

I have these bursts of motivation or frustration in which I feel inspired to rework the project, make changes, do better.  They I’ll get into a really lazy low mood and everything suffers for several a couple days.  My moods are my downfall.  The irony is that Boosting Energy and Attitude month were done first in the hopes that they would help alleviate the severity or frequency of these low moods.  So half assing my boost energy goals and discarding most of my attitude resolutions hasn’t helped matters.

Maybe the way Gretchen did her project doesn’t work for me.  I remember reading the Happiness Project and thinking to myself that this woman was a time management machine, how did she fit it all in?  I thought, if Gretchen can be a writer with a husband, two small children and a ton of social commitments and still find time to improve in all these areas then I can totally do this.  Turns out Gretchen Rubin is a freak of nature.  I work regular hours at a job that is relatively stress free, I have a dog but no children, no husband and very few social commitments.  In other words, I have more than enough time in my day to do this project.  I’m going to start re-working my resolutions.  I think it’s all about figuring out what works for me and what doesn’t.

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