Sunday, July 24, 2011

I Don't Wanna!

Every fiber of my being is rebelling against planning the next phase of this project.  I'm all over the place.  I was going to spend this entire month getting ready, and now there's only a week left in the month.  Same old I guess.  I think I needed a break.  I didn't really give myself permission to not work on the project, I thought about it a lot, thought a lot about how I wasn't working on it.  So really, not a genuine break.

This morning Flash and I went to a farmers market.  I love farmers markets. 

I cleaned my apartment.  Eliminate distractions!  A messy house is a big distraction for me.  I've always found clearing out physical clutter allows for a less cluttered mind.  I need to power plan!  Sometimes you just need someone to do something with you.  Even with planning this next phase of the project, it's hard alone.  Usually I like doing things alone, but I can't seem to focus.  Flash and I went out for dinner last week and I was discussing my frustrations with figuring out how to accomplish goals and it was through talking with him that I realized one of my big set backs was a lack of know how.

I've accepted that as far as working out goes, I don't know what I'm doing.  I hate wandering around the gym not knowing what to do.  I also hate the idea of wasting my time, or should I say, not using my time in the gym effectively.  I told Flash about a deal at the gym next to my work for three sessions with a trainer and he told me it was a good idea so I think I'm just going to suck it up and do that.  I need help, so I'm seeking out help.  In addition to not liking to waste my time I also don't like wasting money so I hope paying for the gym will motivate me to use it.

... I have planner's block.

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