I have been thinking a lot about what makes a good friend and inevitably I started thinking about bad friends. I can think back to multiple conversations with friends of mine in which they were frustrated with one of their friends and after having a few of these conversations with the person I turned to them and said, “Remind me again why you’re friends with this person?”.
As I’ve gotten older I have begun to notice a pattern among women that are bad friends. The one thing that seems to be consistent is that they haven’t been able to keep or maintain any female friendships from their past. Now the past is going to be relative depending on how old you are, but for me at 25 from your past means from high school or university/college. Lots of people lose touch with high school friends, I get that, but if you haven’t made and kept any genuine friends from the past 10 years then there’s a reason.
I find that women who don’t have girlfriends fall into two main categories: they are either relationship freaks or bitches. Relationship girls are the ones whose boyfriend is their entire life, they move in together too fast and become each other’s world. This girl is often a sort of chameleon, she becomes whoever she needs to be to fit into her boyfriends life and usually has low self esteem and very little sense of who she is. This girl’s friends consist of her boyfriend’s friends and their girlfriends. When the relationship ends the girl not only loses her boyfriend but all of his friends as well. This girl is never single for long and jumps from serious relationship to serious relationship. If you have been this girl’s friend before you were either a friend of her boyfriend or someone that only ever hung out with her during the few weeks that she was in between relationships.
The other girl is the bitch. This girl has a what’s in it for me attitude. She’s one of the stereotypical cool kids, acting like she’s better than most people, tricking you into feeling special for being worthy enough to be included in her life. She’s a lot of fun, very social, seems to be constantly making new friends. She’s only interested in your hot single guy friends, connections at bars and restaurants, discounts through your job or friend’s jobs, a cottage on the lake and asks for a lot of favors – in other words she’s using you. This friend just wants to have fun. If you were friends with this girl at some point you may have mysteriously grown apart but still hear from her randomly when someone you know is throwing a big party or to see if your friend is working at the bar tonight and could he get her in. You may also never speak to this person anymore because there is a very good chance that she hooked up with your boyfriend, your ex boyfriend, several of your crushes or all of the above because she only cares about herself.
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