So this is my "Love" month in the Happiness Project....the month I have been dreading since the start....hence it being in February, the shortest month of the year :) I may be lacking in the love department, but I make up for it in strategic planning, muhahaha.
So love month is all about opening myself up to the possibility of love. I don't expect to find my soul mate in 28 days, but I do hope to open myself to the possibility of finding someone to share my life with in the near future. My last serious relationship was, give or take, 3 years ago, and it wasn't the BEST of relationships. I was definitely beat down and left wondering if I could ever go through that again! For the longest time the answer was no, no no no NO I never want to go through a break up again. So I told myself I wouldn't get serious with anyone unless I had that feeling, the urge, that sense inside you when everything about your body is going "he will be mine." Alas, 3 years later, I am yet to experience that haha. I've dated, gone on dates and gotten semi-interested in someone. BUT in true Melissa fashion, pushed them away the second it was turning the corner into a relationship.
What I have managed to do over the past year is fall for someone who is completely unattainable. He lives miles and miles away, is younger than me, has a very different lifestyle and goals for the future (months of travel, etc. something i wouldn't consider doing at this stage in my life, somewhat cringes at the reality that all his friends are married and/or in serious relationships and settled down). So defense mechanism? Or terrible timing?? Have I strategically chosen someone that doesn't really match what I want moving forward with a male because it keeps me occupied, and he certainly is cute to look at, or do I actually really want to be with this person and unfortunately geographics have kept us from exploring what could be? I honestly don't know. And not that "don't know" where you know you're lying to yourself...I really don't.
So....since me and Mr.Miles-Away can't seem to get things together and actually take steps towards something that resembles togetherness, I have decided if I ever want to BE with someone, i'm going to have to get back on that damn horse, metaphorically speaking, for now Haha.
To be open to love I am going to do the following things:
1. I have stopped drinking for 30 days. Drunk at a bar is no way to make Mr.Right decisions.
2. I am creating a profile on an online dating site. This is not something i've ever really been in to, but honestly in this day and age, don't we somewhat creep/date people via Facebook anyways?? Also, this will at least just get me conversing with some men that I probably would never have before
3. Be open to new people. I....am judgmental. I critique males to the max. I need to be open to someone that isn't necessarily my "type" right off the bat. They could totally win me over with their personality, as these days I am quite in to humour, compassion, intelligence and sports interest. I also appreciate people that have at least read the news headlines of the day. It really makes first time awkward convo easier. I don't read the NY Times either people, skim the headlines, know what's going on in the world, then skip to the Entertainment section, like I do :)
4. Go on a date. Plain and simple. Get asked, ask someone, let someone set you up....just take that step.
These goals may seem easy for some, but I can assure you, for someone that doesn't really like paying much attention to this stuff, this is going to be huge.
BUT....I love love....I love people in love. I have a lot of love to give. Melissa Nadeau....now open, for love!
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