I think the universe is trying to tell me something: Eat Me. That’s what the candy at work says to me anyway. Turns out the administrative head is a bit of a chocolate junkie and has bowls of candy sitting around. There was a glass jar of Smarties on my desk when I started. I told J. that I prefer candy to chocolate and she told me that my boss likes candy. My old boss liked candy too. He used to steal from my stash and leave me posts it notes saying he had done so and then after a couple more steals a new bag would be on my desk as re-payment. I think this validates my belief candy makes you successful. I bet Abraham Lincoln liked candy.
A guy I now work with but have barely spoken to, (I had to ask N. the girl who did my job before, is training me now, and is leaving this week what is name was) emailed me and N. and asked if we wanted to go for lunch with him, his treat, as a welcome and farewell kind of lunch; just the three of us. Um, that’s weird right? We declined and now I feel like he keeps his head down when I walk by. It’s tricky figuring out the dynamic of a new office. I keep thinking about the type of people I went to school with and comparing them to the people that work here now. If I had gone to school with some of these people, would I like them? Considering I liked about 10 of the 100 people in my year in design school leads me to think probably not. I’m sad N. is leaving right away; hopefully she’ll come back and do more temp work here. She’s my age… more or less, and I think it will be lonely without her here. Not that we spend much time together at the moment as I’m at the front and she’s in the back doing archive work… but we still walk to the train together after work and she’s someone I can chat with and ask questions to without feeling dumb.
A woman I work with sent out an email inviting all the women to come for drinks at her house on Friday. She lives kind of far from where I live and has a couple kids and I feel like, hmm, I think this is an ‘I don’t want to leave you out’ invite. Then I think, maybe not, maybe it’s legit and it would be rude not to go. These kinds of things I find confusing. Social skills are not my forté. I would like to have ‘friends’ at work. I’m not looking for a lot of outside work friend stuff though. One: because I’m lazy. Two: because I don’t like the idea of having my entire life revolve around the same set of people. I worked with a guy at my last job who I knew right away was a needy type of person. I find needy people really off-putting. I avoided all of his ‘friend’ attempts because I knew that he was the type of person that would want to hang out all the time. For clarification, he’s gay, has a boyfriend but not many other friends and a few months before I quit his boyfriend moved to England (temporarily) and he was coming on with full ‘friend’ charm hoping to hang out. It’s not that I had anything against him personally, but I don’t want that kind of relationship.
Surprisingly, there is not one person that I strongly dislike… yet. Some people I haven’t really spoken to, one guy is really hard to read. He is the epitome of an emotionless stone face. Mr. No Emotion makes jokes sometimes, jokes where you don’t realize a joke is being made and he stares at you with zero expression and then clarifies that yes, that was indeed a joke and it’s too late to laugh so you just give some awkward smile and nod. The worst part is that the jokes are usually pretty funny, but the delivery is so wrong that you never quite know what to think.
The way time passes at work now is very different. Time would drag on and on at my old job; the days felt soo long. Time does pass by faster now, yes, but it’s not as though the day is flying by. I would describe myself as being less aware of time in the sense that I’m not counting it down. I am still aware of it in the sense that I have things I need to get done, deadlines for things to be couriered by, time at which the mail has to be done, etc. I guess that’s how it is when you’re busier; the days don’t exactly feel short because you’re still putting the same amount of time in. Days always feel longer when you’re watching the clock, waiting is always feels like an eternity.
I feel like I have done two months in a row dedicated to work and that money month got a bit ignored. Next month I’ll be able to calculate everything and get a sense of what steps to take, and will be able to make more headway with money. The one thing I think I didn’t appreciate about all my ‘free’ time at my other job was that I could spend it learning new programs. It’s hard to spend hours and hours every day on it, but I could have committed to it earlier and made more of my time over the last year and a half. I haven’t even touched my tutorials since I started here. It’s going to be a challenge to find time to do them.
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