Friday, May 20, 2011

Mean Girls

I keep reading that interactions with other people are a huge contributor to a person’s happiness.  So the past few weekends I’ve been doing just that.  Agreeing to a dinner at Flash’s friend’s house when I normally would’ve passed, going out for a girl’s dinner, helping Melissa to plan a going away party at our house and trying to be enthused about it when I normally wouldn’t.  This is me trying to be social.  The funny thing that comes along with a social life is drama.  A friend’s current, past and potential relationship drama as well as drama between girlfriends to name a couple.  I had completely forgotten about it.  It’s definitely entertaining, and something to talk about, but for the most part I find drama to be highly over-rated. 
I don’t like having drama that has to do with me.  Melissa and I had a words a few weeks ago and the next day we resolved it.  This is not the norm with girls.  Silent resentment often builds up for a long time followed by a blowout over something small followed by being friends-off.  The funny thing is that it’s usually not one friend’s fault.  If one friend makes the first mistake, the second friend does wrong by not talking to the other person about the first mistake and instead goes on to make her own mistake.  Often this mistake will far overshadow what the other friend did because it was fueled by her bad feelings about the first mistake.  Suddenly we have a full blown fight happening and even though the second friend’s mistakes are worse than the first; they’ll feel somewhat justified in them because they didn’t deliver the first blow.
‘Fights’ between girls are not seen, they are felt.  Guys get mad they have an argument or they punch each other in the face and it’s over.  You can feel a girl fight.  It is silent and deadly.  Walk into a room in which two girls are fighting and the tension in the air is tangible.  It’s easy to get caught up in drama, to have an opinion, to judge.
Flash doesn’t judge.  He hates gossip; he rarely says anything bad about anyone he’s acquainted with.  He has this gift of living without any resentment.  We’ve had some arguments, some fierce conversations, but we rarely fight, and any time he gets annoyed with me he says so and is completely over it in 5 minutes.  I’ll find myself angry about something for two days and by the time I finally try to talk to him about it he stares at me blankly because issues from two days ago were forgotten 1 day, 23 hours and 55 minutes ago. 

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