Friday, July 8, 2011


Flash and I are complete opposites.
He lives completely in the moment.  I am rarely in the moment.  We are going on a trip next week and I had to hound him to agree to let me book the flight in advance so that we could get a better price.  I will be meeting his parents as well as his hometown friends at a wedding we will be attending there.  So I have booked a hair appointment for myself, a grooming appointment for the dog, bought some new clothes including a dress to wear to the wedding, bought a ‘hostess/hi please like me’ present for his parents, got a card for the bride and groom, got a thank you card and gift for Mel for taking care of the dog, will be packing both of our suitcases, printing itineraries and booking a cab.  I’ll be lucky if Flash gets a last minute haircut.
I’m a planner.  Flash is not.
I find myself obsessively worrying about things, a lot.  Flash never worries.  Literally, never worries.  He just deals with things as they come.  In a lot of ways, this is great.  You live in the moment, you don’t worry, and you’re present and happy.  Sometimes he lives in the moment to a fault, though it’s usually me that suffers when Flash doesn’t plan ahead at all.  Never thinking ahead is a luxury people with a good support system can have.  Someone to help you out with unexpected costs, bail you out of a bad spot.  At present, our flight currently costs $800 dollars more than what we booked it for.
I should be more in the moment.  I live in a non-stop battle of past and future.  I know all this worrying isn’t going to help anything.  It’s wasted mental energy and usually makes me unhappy.  I also know that if I never think ahead I just sit around being lazy and waste time.  I’m very confident that a lack of organization was a big part of why certain months were unsuccessful.  My personality type must be up there with the most difficult ones.
It’s very difficult to be my personality type and try to have a serious conversation with Flash’s personality type.  I want to have a discussion, but I bring up anything that I’m worried or frustrated about and Flash throws out random solutions.  If I say something about being frustrated with my current ‘career’ path he’ll say, quit; lots of job opportunities out there now.  If I bring up something and no clear cut solution pops into his mind he’ll shut down and say I don’t know to everything I say.  As someone who never worries he doesn’t see the point in talking about problems, he just thinks of a quick and often impractical solution and ta daa, next topic.  I guess it’s a guy thing to problem solve this way.
Logistics.  I love them, but they drive me nuts.  How.  How will I get from A to B.  Flash would just jump in the car and point A and see what happened.  I would figure out what steps do I need to take to get from A to B?  I would Google a map, figure out stops, book lodgings, get an oil change, and research what I wanted to do at points of interest along the way.  I’m currently figuring out the logistics of my happiness project because I need them.  Not everyone does, and maybe that’s a simpler way to be.  Live by the seat of your pants happy go lucky life.

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