Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Life is a Battlefield

There’s this constant battle going on in my head between wanting to do everything in my power to be a better version of myself by actively trying to be, and the other part that thinks I would be happier if I could just be happy with what is.
Being obsessed with self-improvement can be exhausting.  Nothing is ever good enough if you believe everything can be made better.  You end up feeling like you’re not good enough.  So then you think it would be nice to just stop; to just be.                  
I think Nicole, from more is better, and I are having some parallel life experiences.  She recently wrote a post about her obsession lately with self-improvement and how too much of it can wear you out and make you feel like you’re not good enough at anything.
I believe that lots of small steps toward a goal is the most effective way to make changes over time, but I hate baby steps.  I want immediate changes!  I love a dramatic before and after.  The satisfaction of an immediate accomplishment – want.  This way of thinking leads me to never able to take the first couple steps because I’m always ten steps ahead.  If you never take the first couple steps then nothing gets done.
I also want to change lots of things.  The idea of just spending a few months focusing on changing one thing feels like an ineffective use of time, but really, when I try too many things I just end up getting nothing done.  Accomplishing one thing would be better than nothing, but I can't seem to allow myself to do that.  These mental wars I’m having with myself are exhausting.  Not only is it a battle on how to accomplish things I want to do, but it’s also a battle between doing these things or not doing them at all and just chilling out.
I feel like there’s a fine line between being happy and grateful for what you have, and settling.  If I could be more content with what is, then maybe the idea of focusing on just one thing might not seem so bad.
The trick is that you’re supposed to believe that when you start being happy and grateful for what you have, more good stuff just flows into your life.  How does ambition and hard work factor into everything?  In my head, these two worlds do not know how to coexist. 


  1. Great piece =_

    Neat post and love your blog... would you like to follow each other!

    My Lyfe ; My Story


  2. I so in love with your blog, your posts are very deep and good written, it is a pleasure to read them!
    Would you like to follow each other? Will be glad to hear from you ;o)